


in shadow

by Oparu



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Dark Emma Swan, F/F, No Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan, No Robin Hood (Once Upon a Time)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2016-01-05
Packaged: 2018-05-11 23:49:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5646238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oparu/pseuds/Oparu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Regina muses on guilt and love, and Emma doesn't think she can be saved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	in shadow

**Author's Note:**

> written for yuvalbleich for 2015's onceuponasecretsanta exchange. Thanks for being so fun!

Six weeks passed in Camelot and Regina remembers none of them. Emma says she didn't take their memories but Emma's the Dark One, and a lifetime of experience with the previous one suggests that she can't be trusted. Even though Regina wants to. She wants Emma to be Emma, her friend, her family, the one who actually understands her. 

She cries in the car before she drives back to Henry, and arrives with her eyes red and sore. Henry holds her, because they've lost too much. He makes her tea and they sit, staring at the blank television. There's nothing they can do. Emma won't tell them what curse sent them here and even with the darkness wrapped around her, Regina wants to trust her judgement. Something happened, and it was awful. 

They went to Camelot, and they came back. Emma couldn't be saved (though no one knows how). They have to help her, bring her back, but her chest feels heavy with every breath and her heart aches. Henry keeps going, reminds her that they need dinner, that she has to get groceries. 

So she does that, without seeing Emma, without talking to her. Snow tries, and she's grateful, but everything hurts, even smiling, talking. 

She tries with Henry, trying to keep his life as normal as she can, because he deserves that. Losing Emma means he can't lose her too. She has to hang on, somehow, but she misses Emma. She's the one she'd talk to if this had happened to anyone else, and she doesn't have that option. 

Why did Emma save her? She could have been the Dark One, she's been evil before, maybe she even deserves it, but Emma, sweet, stupid, heroic Emma, ran to the darkness instead. 

Henry deserves better, and that means both of his moms, not evil, but with him. 

Emma should be with  _ them _ .  

Rumplestiltskin's less than helpful, and she has to remind herself not the threaten him. He's apparently good now, even cowardly, because he winces when she raises her hand. So she has to be gentle. 

He doesn't know, even when Belle swears he's telling the truth, he doesn't know. He knew, when he was the Dark One, but now, as himself again, the memories have faded. Perhaps they weren't his to begin with. She walks to her car, defeated but not broken. She can't be broken, she has to find an answer, solve this, save Emma. 

The way she saved her. 

Was that what really bothered her? That Emma had thrown herself so carelessly in front of the literal darkness, just to save her? Why her? 

She fumbles with her keys. Leather whispers behind her and Regina turns. 

"He can't help you, you know," Emma says, her arms firmly at her sides. Her leather jacket clings to her body, deepest black instead of red, and it is all wrong. Yet Emma is still in there; she has to be. Regina has to be able to reach her. Belle had gotten through to Rumplestiltskin enough to fall in love with him. There's a precedent. 

"I know that now," Regina says, putting her keys back into her pocket. "Who can?"

"The darkness is undying, unstoppable," Emma says, leaning close enough that Regina recognizes the shade of her lips. It's not a color she's ever seen Emma wear before, and that must be why she's fascinated. "You should know that better than anyone."

"It's not complete," Regina argues, refusing to back down even though Emma looms over her, so much bigger-seeming than she should be. "You're still in there."

"Of course, I'm a redeemable, soft sort of villain, like you were." Emma tilts her head, studying Regina like prey. "Of course, I haven't killed hundreds of my own subjects."

"What monarch hasn't," Regina mutters under her breath and that makes Emma smile. Not like her, not bright and full of hope, but reptilian. 

"You don't feel that way." Emma reminds her, circling her in the street. 

"Remember the vines in Neverland?" Regina takes out her car keys again. If Emma wanted to have a real conversation, she'd stay, but this is only manipulation. "I regret nothing that brought me my son." 

Emma smiles at that, slipping between Regina and the car. "He's just yours now?"

"What interest have you shown in him?" she asks, putting her hands on her hips. "He's afraid, missing his mother, confused about what happened and you can't even take the time to drop by, or send him a text message. The nicest thing you've done since the wardrobe change is not accusing Henry of ruining you life, like everyone else." 

"Including you."

"I don't care what you think about me," Regina spits back. It's a lie. Emma knows it and she grins, again, there's that reptilian side that reminds her of Rumple. She can't be trusted. No matter how much Regina wants to. 

"Bullshit," Emma retort, turning her head to the other side. "You want us to be friends."

"We are friends." She could magic herself into the car at any time but this was the most words she'd had from Emma since they'd returned. 

"Because we drank away your boyfriend troubles before he left you for New York and his wife?"  

Regina smiles her best courtly smile and it hurts, just as it did then. Robin doesn't matter. "Because I care about what happens to you, and you obviously care about me."

"I do?"

Instead of letting Emma own the space, Regina advances on her, making the room between her and the car even smaller. "You took all of this on to save my life, either you're the biggest idiot I know, or you care."

"Maybe I'm just overly heroic because my parents sucked all the darkness out of me and put it in Lily," Emma replies, but she's lost the fire. She leans against the Mercedes like Henry when he's annoyed, a sulky lizard rather than a predator. 

"No," Regina shakes her head. "You saved my life because you care about me, and I know you love Henry, and your parents. So drop this, stop staying away from us and let us help you. You gave up your soul for me. Let me at least try and get it back."

"You can't--" Emma says. She pushes off the car, backing Regina up into the empty street. She looms again, raising up, but Regina's faced down a dragon, her mother and Rumplesiltskin, so she smiles and this time she means it. 

"Of course we can," she insists. "You, Henry and I have broken the Dark Curse, saved the town from destruction at the hands of Peter Pan and my sister, stopped the Snow Queen and even stopped the darkness itself."

"Tying it to me is hardly winning." 

Regina stares past the sneer and the set of Emma's jaw. "You tying it to yourself is the weakest the darkness has been and you know it. You haven't killed, or burned the town to the ground. You turned a dwarf to stone and isolated yourself, but Emma, you're not--"

"I could kill," Emma interrupts her, lifting her hand and holding it over Regina's chest. "I never thought I wanted to hold a heart in my hand, but now? Now I hear yours racing and I--"

"Take it," Regina offers."

"What?"

"Take it." she repeats. "Kill me." Reaching up, she rests her fingers against the back of Emma's hand, then pulls it tight to her chest. "You don't want to."

Emma's eyes widen and she tugs her hand back, but it's easy for Regina to keep it there. She doesn't pull that hard. 

"You're not going to kill me, or hurt Henry, or even hurt your parents. You might have darkness in you, but you're better than that, stronger." Regina keeps her eyes on Emma's confused green ones and the way Emma moves her lips, she knows she's getting through. "You're not going to let this take you away. We need you."

"Everyone needs me," Emma retorts, but her voice cracks beneath her words. "Everyone needs the savior." 

"No," Regina says, reaching for Emma's cheek with her free hand. "Henry and I, we need  _ Emma _ . Come home."

Emma pulls away, leaving Regina's hands holding the air between them. "Home? What an interesting thought." 

"We love you." Regina meets her eyes and Emma breaks their stare first. She slinks away, her heels sharp against the pavement. 

Regina takes out her keys again and turns, her hand still on the door. "I love you," she says, even though Emma's probably not listening and maybe it won't make a difference, but that's how they'll fight the immortal darkness. 

That's how they'll win. 


End file.
